I know I already posted the picture of Maggie (below) but I couldn't resist posting it again with the one of Anna.  Same pose, only their heads are going the opposite direction.  It is so amazing to me how in sync these two are; it's fascinating to watch! As much as they're alike, they are also very very different.  Maggie has ALWAYS been the outgoing one, more vocal, more active, more everything.  Anna is our laid back, lap baby; she loves to snuggle!  She is a bit more reserved, not nearly as outgoing as Mags.  She just lives life and goes with the flow; she acts like the baby sister!  I'm afraid that she's going to have a long road of punishment ahead because she is so agreeable and does what her sisters encourage her to do, whether it's good or bad!  

How precious are those faces?

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!

I'm a little later in posting this than I had originally intended, but I couldn't let the day officially end without wishing Warren's parents (aka BopBop and DamDam) a very happy anniversary.  They were married 37 years ago today!   In this day and time, staying married for longer than six months is a rarity, so it's nice when we can see a couple stay together through thick and thin, good times and bad, and joy and sorrow!

Congratulations BopBop and DamDam!!!  WE LOVE YOU!!!!  Here's to 37 more!!!! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Just wanted to wish Warren's cousin, Jon Deck, a happy birthday today!!!

She Asked for Them....

She got them.  DamDam has asked for new pictures, and I'm hoping to oblige!  These aren't necessarily the greatest pictures by any stretch, but at least they're new(er).  

pretty cool one of Maggie, or at least I think so.  Not really sure how I got it to look this way, and will probably never get another one to look like it, but I just love her sweet face and those big blue eyes.  She still was feeling too well in this one, but she assumed the position (having her middle two fingers in her mouth) and all was right with the world!

Anna decided she needed to help Daddy clean up the kitchen!

Anna & Maggie have discovered that they can 'wear' Warren's and my t-shirts.  They're just a wee bit big for them! haha   Anna was so proud to be wearing Daddy's shirt!

I've Been Reprimanded

DamDam just emailed me, and she told me she likes the new layout but that it would be better with new pictures.  And I do admit that I've fallen down on the job in the picture taking department.  We just haven't had a lot of photo shoots/photo worthy moments going on lately.  And now that we think they're all coming down with something, the last thing they want to do is sit still for their camera happy mama!

I have gone through the picture file and found some photos that I haven't shared yet, so DamDam, I hope these will tide you over until we see you!  **Warren said that y'all are MORE than welcome to come over next Saturday and help us move our furniture.**  I told him, yeah, that kind of invitation would be hard for anyone to turn down! ;)  

I will try and do better.  Have some plans for a photo shoot/idea, but we'll just have to see how it goes.  So, until then, these are for you DamDam (and everyone else in blog land!):

enjoying milkshakes from Hardee's.  I must say, the shakes from there are REALLY good!

my Valentine's happy from my #2 Valentine! They made this at school; she was so proud of this, and of course, I am, too.  It's a really good picture of her.  Usually, she had this weird, fake looking, silly smile going on.  Guess she was more cooperative since someone else was behind the camera!  I am really going to miss her little school next year.  They do the most creative things.

sweet big girl making a get well card for PawPaw (my dad).  The girls each made one the morning of our trip to visit him.  I think my dad liked them!

Daddy getting some Maggie love while she was making her card

Anna was more interested in hamming it up in front of the camera, but she did find time to make PawPaw a card, too!

A New Look

Just thought I'd give the ol' blog a new look.  Not sure how I like it yet, though, since I've gotten so accustomed to seeing all the pictures and links on the left hand side.   Who knows how long I'll keep it this way.  So nice that I can just move the mouse and push a few buttons, and, viola, it's all changed, nice and neat and looking new.  I just keep thinking how great it'd be if I had an easy button here so my house would be picked up and clean and straight all the time and NOT looking as if a hundred hurricanes and tornadoes hit it at one time.  I just pray I'm not the only one with a horrendously messy house! :)

He's Coming Home!!!!

I spoke with my dad earlier this morning, and he had GREAT news for me!  He's going to be released from the hospital in Tuscaloosa tomorrow!!!!  He was in great spirits and sounded like my dad, which made me feel lots better.  He sounded like he had more energy; he has even been up and walking around since early this morning!  He also wasn't as short of breath as he had been during our visit and from phone calls I've had with him.  

One minor snag---the urologist that did his prostate surgery is going out of town today, and he wants either himself or one of his associates to be the one to take out dad's catheter.  Why, I'm not sure, especially when someone in the T'town hospital can surely do it or know how to!  But, Daddy wants to do what his original doc wants.  So here's the snag, aside from his being out of town, my dad lives about an hour and a half from the hospital where he had his prostate procedure.  He doesn't want to have to go home from Tuscaloosa, only to have to wait until he can go to the doc's office on Monday morning.  That would just be a heck of a lot of riding on him.  He's hoping that my aunt (who works in the ER) can arrange for an associate of the original doctor to be at the ER sometime tomorrow so he can remove it.  I pray that this will happen so that my daddy can get into his own home in his own bed and start the healing process.

Thank you thank you thank you all again for your prayers!!  God truly does listen!!! :)  

Dad's Doing Fine

I talked to my brother about 9 this morning, and at that time my dad had been out of his angio for about an hour.  He came through it fine and was resting on the 'joy juice' as my brother calls it. :)

The doc found that one of the arteries in my dad's heart was totally blocked off, and he put a couple of stints in it.  Other than that, I'm not sure what else was discovered.  If I remember correctly all that my brother said was that my dad's heart is very weak and had suffered some pretty good damage.  He is going to have to take it very easy for a while, which will be good for him, but hard at the same time.

I posted earlier how we thought he might get to go home Saturday at the latest, but from what the angio revealed, it looks as if he'll be staying a few more days.  I know he wants to go home, and we all want him there, but I personally don't mind if he's where someone can monitor him very closely and catch any other problems that arise.  My dad lives in a VERY small town, and a hospital drive is a good distance for him.  Where he is now, he can be watched 24/7!

Thanks again for all the support.  You'll never know how much it means!  God bless!

Some Strange Napping Positions

I just realized my lack of pictures in my several posts over the last few days.  We just haven't had too many photo worthy things going on around here.  

I did remember that these were on the camera, and I thought they would be fun to share!

Since I didn't take this picture, I'm embarrassed to say that I'm not sure if it's Anna or Maggie

Reese usually always manages to get her little bootie in the air while she's sleeping!

this is Maggie, I know, since I took this picture

I'm a terrible mother; I can't say for sure who this is.  I didn't take this picture, so that's my story and I'm stickin' to it! :)

I took this one of Mags yesterday.  I hate to say that I believe that the flu bug is rearing its ugly head on my sweet girls. Mags ran fever most of the day yesterday, and Reese hasn't been too cool either.  And we've been coughing and we have sore throats.  Hopefully it's just allgery/sinus/weather related.  That would help us out so much if it was.  Neither Warren nor I can afford, literally, to get sick.  I knew Mags wasn't feeling well, but she just got up in the chair at the computer behind me while I was blogging, and this is how she ended up!  Bless her!

Dad's Surgery

My dad called me last night and told me that he is having his angioplasty this morning. It may even be happening as I type this.  He told me that the cardiologist likes to get started on his procedures pretty early.  My dad sounded in good spirits and totally confident that he's going to come out of all of this 'smelling like a rose' (his words).  He's even thinking that he MIGHT get to come home on Saturday!!!!  YIPPPPPPEEEEEE!!

So, if you catch this post this morning and have a quick minute to lift him up and the doctors and nurses, too, in prayer, I'd be grateful!

Hesitated....

I have hesitated about sharing this with all of you, but it has really been on my heart lately to do so, so I hope you won't mind.

I'm afraid it's going to be a long post!

Warren and I found out in late December/early January that I was pregnant!  Total, complete and utter shock soon followed.  I was late, and the ONLY times I have ever been late in my life are named Reese, Anna and Maggie.  I took three at home pregnancy tests the weeks of New Year's, and they all came back positive!

I was terrified at the thought of telling Warren.  I didn't want to add to his already huge amounts of stress.  I mean, he is the one who works so incredibly hard to provide for us which allows me the joy (and let's just be honest, sometimes incredible frustration) of staying home with our girls.  Having a fourth child, which is something we have always talked about and wanted, would definitely add to the stress.  We would need a bigger house, which meant a bigger payment, not to mention all the gear that a baby needs.  I just didn't want to put any more on his shoulders.

I shouldn't have worried.  I showed him the second test, and he said, yep looks positive to me.  Baby #4!  He was GREAT!!!!   I was an absolute crying mess, telling him that I had never expected or intended for it to happen; I was worried he'd be mad at me, but in natural Warren fashion, he reminded me that I didn't get pregnant by myself.  I wasn't sure if he was just saying he was OK just to ease my worries or if he really was.  Looking back I know he was worried, nervous, etc, but OK nonetheless.

Since I didn't really trust the at home tests, I had some blood drawn the day after New Year's Day.  They only ran a yes/no result, and my doctor's nurse called me later that day to tell me that I was indeed pregnant.  It was too early for a doctor's visit because I wasn't sure of my last start date.  A few days later, they ran a quantitative hcG level and it was high enough for an appointment.  I was shocked and concerned, but I was so looking forward to the appointment to see the little bean for the first time.

We went to the doctor on January 15, and I was fully expecting to see a heartbeat since I thought I was about six weeks along.  According to that ultrasound, I was only four weeks, and we definitely saw a large sac but no fetal pole or yolk sac.  My doctor didn't seem too worried; it was just still a little too early.   I was told to come back in four weeks.

Between that time, we had Reese's birthday party.  I was feeling fine, and I was really and truly finally getting used to the idea that a new baby was on its way.  I was telling the other moms that I would definitely be finding out the gender and hitting up those of them with boys for any hand me downs, since I knew that our son would hate wearing all the pink in this house!

On our way home from the party, I began cramping slightly.  I thought it was just the position I was sitting in, but I wanted to get into the bathroom first thing when we got home to check.  I ran inside the house, straight to the bathroom, and to my shock and disappointment, I had begun bleeding.  This was on a Friday, and I waited until Monday to call my OB.

Warren's parents came that Saturday to celebrate Reese's b'day.  We weren't going to say anything to them about my being pregnant or now, might not being pregnant.  Reese was busting a gut to tell them; she was so excited about the baby in my tummy, as were the twins.  Warren and his dad went outside to do some work in the attic and I saw that as my opportunity to tell his mom.  I began by saying that Warren didn't want me to tell them, and she looked at me and said you're pregnant!  She had guessed, but she said she figured we'd tell her when we were ready.  She seemed excited, and I have to tell you that I think I was more worried about telling them than Warren.  We struggle a lot with the three precious ones we had, and four would definitely make it harder.  I was so relieved, and then saddened again, because I had to tell her that I didn't think I was pregnant anymore.  That was a really hard thing for me to do, and it brought back lots of sad memories for me because she and BopBop were there for me and Warren (literally) when I miscarried the first time.  

When I talked to my nurse on Monday, the 28t of January, she told me to come on in so that they could do another ultrasound to see what was going on.  My doc said that it could just be implantation bleeding and began the scan.  To my heartbreak, I was measuring smaller than I had at the previous appointment and there definitely was no heartbeat--no nothing.  This situation was all too familiar; I had been here before in late February of 2002.

My doctor looked at me and told me that I had a blighted ovum, something I'd never heard of.  I had two options--a D&C or just let things happen naturally. He recommended nature since I was so early along.   I was told my cramping might get worse, but they could give me some stronger meds the tylenol/advil combo didn't continue to ease the pain.  I was to go back at the end of the next week.

When I got home, I googled blighted ovum and learned that it's when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus but fails to form.   Most things said it's usually due to a chromosomal abnormality, and women experience many pregnancy symptoms, including elevated hcG levels, which is why all my tests came back positive.  And while I was extremely sad and heartbroken about the baby, I realize that God is indeed in control and knows all and knows what He's doing.  I mean, if our baby had some sort of problems, we would love it as much as we love our girls, but if it had needed special long term care, it would be even more difficult financially as it is now.

So as not to go into any real detail, let's just say that nature taking its course over the next week was NOT fun at all.  I didn't know what to expect and I was really scared, which ended up confusing and scaring the girls.

I was so sad that the baby was gone.  I know some people would say that there never really was a baby to begin with.   My head, my heart, and most importantly my faith tell me that when a sperm and an egg join, that life is forming, no matter if it's too small for the human eye to see.  The heart feels it and knows it's there.

I went back to the doctor February 8th for another ultrasound and nature had pretty much taken care of everything.  I still had two options though--a D&C or have blood tests to check that my hcG levels were going down.  He suggested the blood tests, and I agreed since even a very short hospital stay isn't very convenient when you've got three little ones running around.  In early January, my level was 3500 (give or take) and on Feb. 8 it was down to 350.  That's still not necessarily low enough to be back to 'normal', so I'm having more blood work this Friday.  

I was reading the Williams' blog the other day, and EJ posted this great song/video and story about her hardships while trying to get pregnant.  Warren and I have never had a fertility issue, and for those of you that have, we certainly don't take it for granted.  We  have been blessed with Reese (a child I never thought I would have after the first miscarriage; that made me afraid that I'd never be able to have a baby) and then again with the twins, who were conceived with no medical intervention whatsoever, which sometimes makes it even harder for me to believe since I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would have two at once!  They truly were all God's work!  While I am still dumbfounded everyday when I look around and see two very similar beings running around, they truly are two of the best blessings we've ever received.  

I hope I haven't bored you too much.  I just really felt like sharing.  In case you're wondering, we are unsure if we will have #4.  I still feel it tugging at my heart, but God knows best.  I mean, I'm not exactly over the hill at 32, am I?

Thanks for listening!  God Bless You All!

Randomness

**We have two sets of flatware in our kitchen, the set we registered for when we got married (9  years later and we STILL  don't have all the pieces) and a less expensive set that we really use everyday!  Well, Anna & Maggie decided to get in the draw where the everyday stuff was and take out ALL the large forks.  And people, when I say all, I mean all.  There isn't a single fork in the drawer anymore.  I know I will most likely stumble on them (and by that I mean step on them) before too long.

**The girls are becoming huge Harry Potter fans!!  And that's not a problem with me.  Since the writer's strike, we haven't had much to watch in the way of TV at bedtime.  (Our bedtime ritual consists of Anna lying down on the couch with Warren, Maggie on our futon with me, and Reese on our huge stuffed Patrick dog and we all snuggle under blankets and watch TV!  May not be 'acceptable' but it works for us!)  Because our shows were under strike, we decided to go through the dvds and see what we could find.  Once we watched one Harry PotPot (as the twins call him), we were hooked on all the others, except for the first two.  The Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of Secrets don't do much for them, and I'm not really sure if they're all that crazy about Prisoner of Azkaban.  They love Goblet of Fire (especially Reese) and Order of the Phoenix (although I am terribly disappointed that this one didn't follow the book more closely; they left out A LOT of things).  Anyway, for those of you that have seen these last two, you know that Harry learns how to produce his patronus.  Reese has a princess magic wand, and the other day, she picked it up, pointed it upward and yelled "Expecto Patronum!"  Hilarious!!!!!   And, she mimics professor Umbridge when she's explaining the O.W.L. exams.  Reese takes her wand and says, "O, W, Ls, more commonly known as OWLs."  It's really funny, but I'm sure you'd just have to be there.

**Reese asked me yesterday, "Mommy, do you know what makes you cough?"  Trying my hardest to come up with an answer, she says, "Nucinex".  (You know, Mucinex.  Those lovely commercials with the little green goblin people)  I was driving us home from school when she came up with this, and I just about drove off the road!

**Anna has started say "thank you" instead of "tank tank".  Where has my baby gone?

**Reese now has a twin bed in her room, hopefully she'll quickly get used to sleeping alone.  She does pretty well, considering that I've been sleeping with her most of her life.  

**Anna & Maggie have inherited our old queen bed that Reese had been sleeping on.  These two little boogers are the ones that give us the most fits at bedtime.  If they're not totally asleep when we put them in the bed, they'll just meander into the living room to begin the putting to be process all over again.  There have been several nights/mornings when all four of Warren's girls have been in that queen size bed at the same time, usually finding me cross ways at the foot all curled up in a ball since I'm too long to stretch out across it that way!  I'm sure it's a sight to see!

All for now.....until they pull something else out of their hats!!!!

Hanging in There

I spoke to my dad this morning.  After the scare from Saturday night/early Sunday morning, he seems to be doing much better.  In his own words he says he's getting less weak and stronger everyday.  And that's a good thing!  Glad he's beginning to feel more like himself; it's so weird seeing my dad in a situation like that.  He's no small man by any stretch, but for him to be 'helpless' is a strange thing for me to see.

I remember when he had his very first heart attack when I was in junior high.  Going in his room in the hospital was something I really didn't want to do (I was tons more squeamish) then than I am now.   Guess that could come from being thrown up on/spit up on/peed on and pooped on, huh?  Anyway, I remember walking into his room and seeing more machines than I've ever seen and being so scared and worried about him.  And for some reason, the gauze pads the docs and nurses used weren't in the medical waste bins; they were in the regular trash can sitting by the door.  And, yep, that's where my eyes hit head on for some reason.  And let's just say, the room got really hot and I was more than ready to skedaddle!  

My dad see the cardiologist this morning, and he said that he didn't want to do the angio right now.  Warren is confused by this and hopes waiting won't make things worse, as we all do.  My dad did say that the doctor pretty much told him that he would definitely be having it done before he left the hospital there.  I think we would just all feel better if we had some sort of game plan, just to help us put our minds at ease a little.  I know my dad would!

Warren is on call this weekend, but I really want to go back over and see him for a bit.  I don't think I'd mind taking the girls with me either.  It only took us about an hour to get over there, and I can handle that kind of ride--thanks to the TV in the van.  (best money we ever spent!)  We'll have to see, especially since Reese and Maggie have been coughing a little bit this week.  Hope it's all just sinus/weather related.  

Anyway, we just can't thank you all enough for your encouraging words and prayers. It means a lot to know that you're thinking about us and pulling for my dad, even when most of you don't even know me!  I am truly blessed! 

Another Update

I saw my daddy on Saturday!!!!  I was SO excited to see him, and I think he was glad to see me, too.  Warren and I were able to visit with him for about 45 minutes by ourselves, which is what I wanted to do.  I just wanted to be close to him for as long as I could.  And considering everything he had been through since Tuesday, he looked really really good! He was sitting up and talking and recounting to me and Warren everything that happened to him since leaving the hospital in Columbus; what a celebrity he is!!! :)  I figure you must be some kind of big deal when a police officer is waiting on you in the ER in Tuscaloosa with instructions to take you to the cardiac area immediately! (more on that at another time).

The girls were even allowed in to see him.  I didn't figure they'd let them come in, and I knew that it wasn't likely since a sign on the cardiac ward said no children under 14 allowed.  Well, my daddy wanted to see my girls and my sister and her girls so bad.  He even requested that his nurse give him something for his pain/discomfort before we all got there.  He told his nurse that he needed to be ready to see his girls! :)  What a sweetie!  The girls made him cards/valentine's and my brother hung them on his wall right across from his bed so he can see them when he wakes.   The girls did really well; they didn't seem scared, but they did sense that something 'wasn't right' with PawPaw.  They were a little skiddish, but it didn't take them long to warm up.  

While Warren and I were visiting with him and he was telling us what he remembered about Tuesday.  He said he remembers waking up in recovery and being moved to his room and seeing Warren in his room.  Once he got there, that's when his chest began hurting and things weren't going too well.  Dad told me and Warren Saturday that the only two people (out of about 10) that he remembers seeing then were the anesthesiologist and my sweet hubby!  He tells everyone that!!!   I guess seeing and knowing Warren was in the room was a comfort to him.

We left Saturday feeling really good about his condition, until I talked to my brother late yesterday afternoon.  Rich told me that the cardiologist's assistant came to look at daddy and told him that he was scheduling his angio for tomorrow (Monday).  Ok, but later the urologist comes in and when he learns this, he tells my dad that no way will they be doing it.  Not a good time.  So, back to square one.  And, for some reason, my dad has this very large bruise on his right side that no one can figure out why it's happening.  Rich told me that they were afraid he was bleeding internally.  (Here we go again for me being scared to death).  They did an CT scan of his abdomen and it came back clear, so that's a relief.  

Everyday is just a wait and see from here I guess.  I am thinking that I might try to go over again on Wednesday, just to check in.  I loved having my brother there because his cell phone is a local call from our house phone.  My cell phone doesn't work at our house (I have to wait until I'm in the car in town to call folks long distance), so I can't call anyone else to find out what's going on.  My brother came back home last night, so I'm going to have to figure out something.

Thanks again for all the sweet comments and your prayers!  We sure do need them!

Update on My Dad

Just wanted to update everyone about my daddy.  He is in Tuscaloosa and will be there through the weekend and most likely through the rest of next week, and probably longer. But we don't know for sure, and this is all info being relayed to me by my brother.  He's been there with my dad since they transferred him Tuesday night.   He left to come home today as did my dad's younger brother.  I feel like if they felt comfortable leaving my dad then I can make it to Saturday before seeing him myself.  

On Tuesday night, we were all under the impression that an angioplasty was going to have to be done.  The cardiologist in T'town told my uncle/brother that he would like to wait as long as possible before doing so.  He said 'first do no harm.'  He said that in trying to 'fix' the heart problem that he would most likely hurt the prostate surgery and set my dad two steps back.  It looks like they may do the angio late next week, but they're ready in case they have to do it earlier.  My uncle has lots of confidence in the cardiac guys there, and I totally trust my Uncle Dan! :)

My aunt told me yesterday that my dad has been sitting up a little and talking, although I'm sure his talking is limited due to the amounts of medicines they're giving him to keep him comfortable.  I just took it as a good sign that he was upright and not flat on the bed!  I cannot wait to see him.  I had been told earlier that visiting hours were every four hours and then we only got 15 minutes with him during that time.  Ugh, an hour and a half drive for 15 minutes every four hours.  But my brother told me yesterday that visiting hours were from 9-9 and that one person can be with my dad all the time and no more than 2 or 3 people in the room at one time.  That makes me feel a lot better; I can actually spend some time with him.

My dad is not by any means out of the woods.  The docs told my uncle that he's walking a tightrope right now.  They will be able to give him some blood thinners now if he needs them since the catheter (sorry for those of you with weak stomachs) is now clear.  There had been a lot of blood in it on Wednesday morning.  

It is now Friday, and I talked to my brother this morning and he said that my dad is still sitting up (when he's not knocked out because of the meds) and wearing his glasses and shooting the breeze.  That sounds more like my daddy!  I cannot tell you how ready I am to see him tomorrow.  Hope he won't be too worn out; I've been told that several people from where he lives have been in and out a lot.  I just hope that won't be too much for him in the long run.

And, lastly, and most importantly, I want to thank all of you who have commented (and those who haven't) for your thoughts, kind words and most of all prayers.  I just have to say what a sweet father in law I have (more affectionately known as BopBop).  His words in the chat box to the side just made my day yesterday when I read them.  He is such a strong believer and an inspiring Christian man.  Thanks BopBop; you knew exactly what to say and it means a lot!   And thanks to DamDam, too, for not letting me 'wallow' in my short comings from the other day.  Confession was just good for the soul that day! Thanks y'all!!!

I have yelled at my girls several times today.  I feel really bad about this.  I have to be the ONLY mother in the world who gets angry at her children like that.  My nerves are absolutely shot today.  I think I would feel a lot better if I could hop in the car and go see my dad.  I talked to my brother and my uncle this morning.  My uncle said that the doctors are saying that my dad is basically walking a tight rope right now and is no where near out of the woods.  This terrifies me.  Those of you who keep up with us know that my grandmother passed away early last summer while we were on vacation and I didn't get to see her one last time and tell her I love her.  I'm afraid this might happen again.  My uncle said he'd call me if it looked like things weren't going well.  Tuscaloosa isn't that far away, but far enough when something like this is going on.  

My sweet precious girls are just exhausted, as am I, today.  I woke up this morning with every intention of heading to the hospital once some clothes got out of the dryer.  But, my mom helped me to realize it might not be the best thing for the girls since they were at the hospital here in town all day yesterday.  And they stayed in a wet diaper most of the day because their brain less mommy didn't repack the diaper bag and I didn't want to leave the hospital because of other issues that I'm just not comfortable sharing here.  Not that I don't trust that all of you have my family's best interests at heart, there are just some other things going on in my heart today that I have been struggling with for years and since they've never been fully resolved, they manage to creep back up--just when I am at my weakest, and I know that's Satan's power and I can't give in.  But I'm having A LOT of trouble today.  

I feel like just getting back in bed, pulling the covers over my head and trying to start the day over again.  Any of you ever feel that way?  How bad of a mommy am I?  I hope my girls forgive me because I'm finding it really hard to forgive myself.

Need Your Prayers

I just wanted to ask all you prayer warriors out there if you could spare a little time praying for my family, especially my daddy.  

A couple of months ago, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  And even though we were all told that if you're gonna get cancer, this is the one to have because it's totally curable (if found early on), but the word cancer absolutely scares me to death.  Several people in my family have died from cancer, so you can imagine my fear of losing my daddy.   Once it was discovered, my dad had a biopsy to determine how advanced, and the biopsy revealed that he indeed had cancer and his prostate was about 65-75% cancerous.  

Because of this, the doctor needed to know if the cancer was still contained or if it had spread somewhere else in his body.  A few weeks ago, he had a CT scan and bone scan.  It seems that if this cancer does spread, the bones usually are where it ends up.  Let me just tell you that that fact scared me a lot, too.  Good news was that his CT and bone scans both came back clean, so the cancer hadn't spread.  His urologist recommended that he have his prostate removed and all would be good.

Then yesterday.  He had his surgery to remove his prostate and it was a four hour long procedure.  And yes, my girls and I were there the entire time, except for the three hours that Reese was at school.  The nurses in surgery called us (my step mom and brother and step sisters and lots of friends and family with hourly updates.  Each time the phone rang, someone told us that the surgery was still going on that Daddy was doing fine.  Once the four hours were up, a nurse called and said it was all over and that he would be in his room in about 45 minutes.  He had lost about a pint and a half of blood, but the doc was going to wait until the next morning to see if a transfusion wsa needed.  I was worried about that but more important at that time to me was that  I was going to get to see my daddy.  

As they were getting him settled in his bed, he began complaining with his chest hurting.  You see, my daddy has had three pretty bad heartattacks in the last few years, so that is always a concern for us.  He has been on blood thinners for years but was told to stop taking them for several days prior to his surgery.  The doctors and nurses first thought his chest pains were due to gas pressure that built up during the operation, but EKGs were ordered just to be sure.  One doctor consulted with a cardiologist, but before we knew those results, it was decided that it would be better if they moved him to the ICU where he could be monitored more closely.  This was around 6pm, and I was getting ready to leave and get the girls home.  I let the girls give him a good night kiss, and as I was leaning in to kiss him, the doctor came back in and told my dad that he did indeed have another heart attack and that he would be moved to the ICU quickly.

Needless to say, I got worried then.  I wanted to stay so badly, but my girls were tired and hungry and desperately needed to go home.  I gave my daddy a kiss on the cheek, told him I'd see him tomorrow, and that I loved him.  He was pretty in and out of it, but his last words to me were "I love you too Brookie."  (it's a standing 'joke' in my family--my dad didn't understand why my mom named me Brook-E.  You know, good ol' silent e.  He has always called me Brookie.   My dad has always called my sister Brandi, Brand-I!)

On my way home, my brother called me to tell me that the heart attack my dad had was pretty bad and they were going to get him more stable in the ICU and that he was being taken to Tuscaloosa that night for an emergency angioplasty.  Can you say, SCARED!!!  My brother and sister in law went, and my step mother rode in the ambulance with my dad.

My brother called me about 9:30 last night and the doctor in T'town said he wasn't going to do the angioplasty after all since my dad has been off his blood thinners for so long.  He didn't want him bleeding out.  Nor do we!  It looks as though he might have to have the angio, but worse than that, once they see how the prostate surgery heals, it is most likely that my dad is going to have to have by pass surgery.

I haven't been able to get in touch with anyone this morning, but I feel sure that if something had gone wrong in the night that my brother would have called me.  

I'm sorry this post is SO long, but I wanted to let those of you know who know how my dad was doing and what was going on.   My family would surely appreciate your prayers, and if you like to have specifics when you pray, my dad's name is Pete Brandon.  Thank you!

Belated Birthday!

My cousin, Patti, celebrated her birthday yesterday.  Sorry I'm late at getting the wishes out (will post later as to how our weekend was).  I hadn't seen Patti in years until we were at my great aunt's funeral about a year or so ago, and we didn't really have time to visit and catch up.  She and her parents used to come to the campground when I was younger, and I thought she was so cool!   Her folks were the best, too.  Her mom, Jane, is still living in Kingsport, but we lost her father, John, years ago.  That was a really sad time for us, especially my granddaddy.  He loved John just like he was one of his own!

Anyway, I will stop with the sad stuff.  Patti, I hope you had a great day yesterday!  Hope we can see each other soon!  Love you!!!

She Really is Growing Up

I knew that Reese's fifth birthday would hit me like a ton of bricks, realizing that she truly is not a baby anymore and more importantly that kindergarten and 'real school' are just around the corner.  Can that really be possible?  I'm having a hard time believing it, even though I live it daily.  I'm not sure if she'll be ready for kindergarten when the time actually comes; I KNOW I won't be.  I've gotten misty eyed when taking her to her first days of 'school' these last two years, but that first day of kindergarten is absolutely going to kill me.  I hope Warren will be able to take that morning off so I'll have some reinforcements, but I have a feeling he might get a little teary eyed, too.  I know that this seems awfully early, talking about her starting school, but passing schools in town, it looks as if everyone is gearing up for their open houses.  And that always gets me to thinking that another school year is soon winding down and another one will be beginning soon.

Another sign that she really is getting bigger--the birthday ticker at the top of the blog.  I changed it the other day since she has already turned five and on her way to six.  Imagine my sadness when I realized that once you hit five, the number of your birthday no longer appears at the right side of the ticker.  (I guess that they consider the first five birthdays to be the 'important' ones.)  This is a trivial thing, I know, but I had gotten accustomed to seeing the '5' on the ticker when ever I logged into the blog.  Now, there's nothing on the end.  Only words at the bottom saying she's five and some months/days old! 

Nothing in this world can compare to these first five years.  My life has been filled with so much love and joy (and frustration as well, just to be honest, and I know that all you moms out there know what I'm talking about).  So much that I never knew that kind existed.  There's just something about a child that just grabs hold of you and your heart and doesn't let it go.  I truly am blessed!

WHAT A GAME!!!

Did y'all watch the Super Bowl last night?  We sure did!!!  And there was a lot of jumping up and down and screaming and hollering going on in our house last night.  And like most of the Giants games this season, there were a few nail biting moments as well.   But in the end, Eli came out on top!

I was so glad that the Giants played well.  I knew that the Patriots were heavily favored to win, and I just didn't want them to pummel the Giants to the ground, as they have been known to do.  I absolutely hate it when teams are winning by a huge margin and leave their first string players in to keep doing as much damage as they can.  I have always hated a sore loser, but a bragging and hot headed winner makes me even madder.

When they were down by four in the fourth quarter, Warren kept saying that they were going to lose.  I was trying to be optimistic, which is so totally unlike me; I'm more of 'the glass is half empty' type.  Trying to stay quiet and not wake up the twins was a really hard thing for us to do.  When Eli connected with Burress in the end zone with 35 seconds left, a huge relief came over us, but I also was worried because, after all, the opposing team was the Patriots and their QB Brady can pull a rabbit out of his hat anytime.  The defense stepped it up (as they did the entire game) and held them back!!!  When the Pats couldn't convert on 4th and 20, that's when we started some celebrating!!

And WHAT do y'all think about Bill Bellicheck (sp?)?  I cannot stand that man, and I know I shouldn't form an opinion about someone I've never met, but his actions on camera tend to speak volumes.  For a moment, I felt like giving him the benefit of the doubt in the fact that he thought he game had officially ended and ran onto the field to congratulate the Giants coach.  At the time, I felt like he didn't realize that the officials had put one second back on the clock.  But, I'm sure he realized it when the officials tried to get him off the field and back on the sidelines.  But instead of going back to the sidelines to finish the game, he took off to the locker room.  Can you say sore loser?  I know that he and his team were disappointed with the loss, but I still think you can be somewhat of a winner if you keep a good attitude.  Being the person I am, I would have felt absolutely no respect for him had I been a player for the Pats.  But knowing how big headed and cocky they've been this season, I'm sure it didn't both the players in the least and I'm sure they would have followed suit.

It was a really great game, and I'm glad that Warren got to be home for it all.  He was on call this weekend, and was called in twice yesterday morning.  We were worried that he wasn't going to be able to watch any of it.  I even taught the girls a cheer that I used to do when I was in high school.  Maggie really caught on and wanted to do it over and over and over again.  Imagine!

I can't believe that football is now officially over, except for the pro bowl next week.  That game just doesn't really do anything for me, ya know?  I'd much rather watch a 'real' game.  Bring on the new football season!!!